i'm thinking...

ok, so i haven't written in this thing in like five years but i look at it a lot and am in a somewhat write-y mood tonight. letS see...things are good on the home front here. we put up our treeeee last week and it has been eternally lit since then. i love it. christmas in general that is...although this year may be a rough one. which leads me to my next point - the lack of money. Ryan and I found ourselves without jobs (him from mid September to mid November and me for about 3 weeks this month). we have no dollars. it's sad. but we have the necessities and more. and we have eachother and a nice soft bed.

but don't worry....i got a nice new job. as a behavior specialist with a wonderful company. i'll be working with several group homes in the area, assisting the staff in implementing behavior plans and helping them track the data they collect. also, attending psychiatry appointments with my clients and getting to actually use my education! woot! i started monday and have mostly just had cpr and first aid training type things (both of which i was already certified in). and to top it off.....i'm defintiely gonna start planning us a vacation for april (i think)! :) that's about all. byebye!

Six random facts about me....do they have to be things people don't already know? hmm....nope, i don't think so.

1. I compulsively save every receipt I receive, on which i used my credit card, because i'm rediculously afraid of having my identity stolen or something....i'm not even really sure why i do, but i have a billion little papers around my apartment that i can't bear to part with. (i seriously have some from christmastime and beyond).

2. I have zero willpower when it comes to foods i enjoy. i can go for spurts faking it, but in the end (or after a longish period of time) i always come back to the same like 5 foods i enjoy.

3. My current deodorant smells unbelieveably like rice krispie treats. i'm serious.

4. I love love love interior design but i've never really told anyone.

5. I was a child model. Penny's catalogs and runway shows, but then came the ugly stage that has lasted quite some time.

6. i secretly live to plan my wedding. i can't get enough of it. there's times when i should have been in bed a long time ago, but i'm busy looking up bouquet ideas, or budgeting tips. i could literally talk for hours about it, too.

that wasn't too exciting....

yeah, so time is flying this year, let alone this summer. i'm on vacation from work cuz we have two weeks off, then 6 weeks of summer school, then another two weeks off before school starts up again for the fall (like in september when every school starts, ya know?). only a week left, and a full one. this past one was like nothing. i seriously can't even remember doing anything. this week...um, insane....today is a 4th of july (1st of july?) party at ryan's gramma's with fireworks and an auction....i friggin love it. tomorrow is nothing, monday is a party at ash's with her whole family, a bunch of friends, baby ryan, and a white trash pool. it'll be great. BUT, that morning our apartment is getting exterminated. why, you ask? cuz the girl that lives downstairs...you know the one. the karaoke, doesn't know how to park, worst mother in the world girl. yeah, hate her. she decided she has bugs ALLLLL over her apartment, called and yelled to the landlord, and now the exterminater(or?) is comin on monday between 9AM and 11AM.....have you met me? am i up that early when i'm on vacation?? no. no thanks. well, i have to be. and it would be so bad but we have to move everything away from the walls the night before or that morning. if you've been here you know that to move things away from the wall doesn't seem like that big of a deal but seriously it's so small in here that there isn't anywhere for things to be if they're not right up against the walls. i'm not kidding. ok, ANNNNNNNND what about the KITTY! he's going to my dad's for the day and we're eating mcdonald's breakfast. sooooo, it's worth it. but that girl...i won't miss her. anywho, then thursday is the square with ash and val, and taking stuff to ashley's for our YARD SALE!! (like posted in the advertiser and everything! woot! friday and saturday morning is the sale, and i seriously need to get rid of everything i own, and make a few bucks. i have piles of stuff here (like half the living room), at my mom's, and have to attack my room at my dad's sometime this week, too. hmm. OH!

we're MOVING. listen to this one. we got a letter a while ago stating that our rent was going up 50 bucks and we would now (after aug 31st) have to pay all of our utilities....going from paying none, that's a lot. whatever, and we hate the girl downstairs, so we decided....we're moving. so i (and i stress I, with my mom's help, too) had been scouring every paper, Bee's, and Buffalo News, and every online list i could find. we didn't want to live in an apartment building. well, mostly i didn't want to. i lived in a dorm for too long. i just like to be able to come home to a house. ya know? so anyway, one day like always i'm browsing craigslist.org....and i see one that describes all i could want (mostly) and apparently it's down the street somewhere. so i email the poster, anxious for a response, and take a drive down the street to see if i missed a For Rent sign in a window or something. i totally didn't. soooo, the next morning she called, left a message and had written me an email, as well. gave me the address and said how excited she was that we were right down the street. talked to her and set up a time to go look at it later that night. in the meantime, ryan and i decide to drive by, after all it's not like it's out of the way...and it just happens to be the very same apartment that my parents lived in in 1975 when they were first married. yeah, i knew they had lived down that way on this street and i knew which house it was, but never did i think that this might be the same one. so, needless to say i called my mom and then had lunch with my dad. they were both a little weirded out by it. we looked at it that night, fell in love with the landlord (and her boyfriend), the apartment, the yard, everything. so we're moving in starting aug 1st....when the guy that lives their now gets out. the place is perfect. it's about 2 times the size of where we're living now, in MUCH better condition, has tons of windows, the bedroom is like three times the size of ours (it used to be two and they knocked out the wall), has a front porch off of the living room!, is getting new carpeting in the whole thing (even though it doesn't need it), and best of all....she (the landlord) told me to paint whatever colors i want (because rightfully, i'm going to be living there, right?) and that she's way into interior design and can help me with any sort of painting and anything i want. and the BACKYARD is the secret garden. there is a veggie garden, and even a rose bed that literally has an old brass bed frame surrounding it. it's the cutest thing i ever saw. there's a super old brick fire pit that sorta looks like a throne (shut up, i know that sounds like i'm taking crazy pills) that she came right out and said "so when you have friends over, come on back and hang out and have a fire or whatever!" i'm in heaven. ok.

two days ago was our 4th anniversary. ryan had to work that day so we celebrated yesterday, with a picnic next to a huge pond with a giant fountain in the middle, swinging on this weird thing at the park, and then taking a drive down to the place i think we're going to have our wedding and reception. he loved it. and i do. then we did some necessary shopping, and came back here, did a ton of cleaning (yet somehow now every room is filled with junk), got mcflurries, and finished the last of the lord of the rings and went to bed. it was certainly a great day. and i loved those movies....as much as i didn't want to. haha.

so, i have 8 million things to do today before i pick ryan up for the par-tay. soooo, i should go or i won't do anything at all, which is not unusual. bye!

p.s. gwyn's moving here. too bad for you, suckas. :P

well, we just got back from seeing x-men 3 and i'm just killing time before we head off to the Sabres game!! yeah, not gonna lie, i'm a little excited. hehe. anyway, the movie was really good, and i liked the first two so i didn't think it'd be bad. went with jaimi and derrick, and since it was 1pm on a weekday there were all that many people there. kinda nice. i am excited about the game and ash is letting us park at the news that that'll be even better to not have to pay for parking! woot!

i think i shoud actually be reading that stats book....it's always when i finally find something to do that i remember that i SHOULD be doing that. hmm.

ohh....well, i'll just say this. i haven't eaten mcdonald's in almost 6 months. i don't think that even the first 6 months of my life were mcdonald's-free. i'm pretty sure it was like pureed cheeseburger in my baby bottle. so, i guess i'm pretty happy about that. i took a break from eating healthy and i guess you could say i'm like still currently taking a break from exercising (unintentionally i guess). the eating needs to be fixed and exercising should start again sometime soon. don't you worry, i still don't eat horribly but i'm definitely not as strict as i have been for the past few months about only eating healthy things. and, something that sorta makes me feel ok about it is the fact that i haven't gained any weight....at all. it's almost weird. 129 this past thursday and 129 the last time i actually remember weighing in at work. ehh, still like 10ish pounds to go but whatever. :) i've still got about 7 months till vacation with the girls....and the bathingsuit is only about a size too small. HA. i say that like it's a piece of cake to just drop a size but in reality i just like to procrastinate. and i really shouldn't cuz yesterday, shopping confirmed my slight spare tire. ehh, at least i have curves, and i'm not built like big boxy man with no hips. that would be far worse. hmm, well that was a rant. i think it's time to go get dinner and head out to the game. go sabres!

....and i'm not quite sure why. haven't been crying, haven't gotten punched in them, haven't gotten any junk in them, so i guess it must be the contact situation. i probably am wearing them too often and for too long at a time. ehh, too bad my glasses are all mangled with a frankenstein arm or i could wear them places other than just in my own home. blah.

school ended almost two weeks ago for me, and even though i did some last minute paper writing, i guess they were better than i thought. i have a 3.95. that one little A- from fall semester taking away my 4.0. ehh, it could be a lot worse. i'm happy. 4 classes and a thesis and i'm done. hmm...i do have to read and understand about 30 pages for stats by the end of the month. already read a few, but i'll get on that more today after ryan goes to work.

on our date friday night, ry and i went to eat at our favorite italian place, then to antoinette's for some ice cream cones, even though it was sorta rainy and about 10pm. we were killing time before the movie. and it was worth it. then we haeded over to regal and saw the davinci code. i liked the fast pacedness of it and you know me and tom hanks, but honestly the thing that bugged me about it was that it was pretty much National Treasure only in entirely in europe. but i suppose that's ok cuz i loved that movie, too.

hmm, went to wells last weekend to see some people that i missed a lot. it's funny how just seeing friends that are far away can make you feel satisfied then when you leave them. like...i just felt like all back to normal after seeing all of them (you guys). everybody is older now and is even more interesting than last year and i love it. now, we just have to set final plans for the big vacation. i seriously can't WAIT. i think about it and i get really excited. i'm weird but vacation + my friends can only be super fun. yay! ok, i think i have to go eat a string cheese and watch bachelor party. ryan's getting antsy.

and p.s. gwyn....you know what to do. ;)

where have i been? mostly sitting here like usual, and not updating. here i am. back again. i technically should be in bed right now. it's after 11:30 on sunday night. but today was a homework day...or at least i liked to call it that. i did manage to get a bunch of junk done. i have one of the last drafts of one of my papers done. just gotta have my professor fix it (or tell me what to fix in it) and i studied a little for my physiology test. and started my second paper, too. slightly....um, the research part.

um, the biggest loser ended at work. ryan's team won! he got a little over a hundred bucks. pretty sweet! we didn't win anything but i won two of the raffles along the way, one was 50 bucks to a gym (too bad i already have a different membership), and the other is 50 bucks to this day spa around the corner. i think i'll get some highlights or perhaps it's time for a pedicure. :) over the course of the contest i lost 13.7 pounds. not too bad. still going though. annnnnd saturday was the walk-a-thon at work. we walked 3.5 miles (which was the long path) and i got prrrretty bad sunburn on my face. sweet. it was fun. jaimi and liz and i walked the majority of the way together and with those two it's always fun.

let me just sum up with this....in a few weeks i start my stats "class". i might fail. blah. ok. bye bye. i think i'll think of something later, i'm sure.

here i am. not dead, but very much alive! ha. um, i'm crazy, too. school is slowly killing me, or rather the stress i feel over things that have to do with school. for instance, i take three classes...the first, cognitive psych, has only a 10 pager left to do. easy as pie, but then on we move to physiological psychology, basically brain phys. for someone with like no natural science background, this class is um...ROUGH. well, the grade is based on 3 exams and a debate. the first test i did rad on. the second we took this past tuesday, and i know i did fair, although not sure of my grade yet, and the debate is on tuesday (have i begun the research, you ask? juuuust barely). that'll be fun, then there's another exam in abooooout 3 weeks. great. then research methods....aka my hell. i have to do a weird study and write the paper for that, and then write this summary for a different potential study ("pick something you'd be interested in studying, summarize it, make a poster, and present it"). blah. but at least that stuff is virtually done. except the poster. so...then there's the scheduling bologna. i'm taking stats as a directed study this summer. meeting approximately 5 times ALL summer (this is the alternative to taking it with a group of about 20 and sucking in front of other people), now i'll have individualized attention. woot! then...think about this! ok, stats in the summer, social psych, and "starting" my thesis in the fall, and then finishing it up in the spring, and taking developmental and couseling. then i am DONE. with my masters that is. i can't even believe it. 4 classes and my thesis. seems like i was at Wells for like ten years, and now seems like i'm practically done at Medaille. strange how time can seem so different like that. i think i like it.

work is going well. ryan's having some hard times with the teacher in his room right now and i feel for him, but i feel like i'm outside the situation so as much as i just wanna take care of the situation and get involved i just can't. it'll work out soon for him and then he'll be as happy as i am at work. he's already made some excellent friends, like i have and i'm so happy for that....not that he's ever like had a problem making friends. can we say, the nicest person ever born. sometimes it makes me actually be meaner when i think of just how like blah NICE he is. hahaha. he likes it.

speaking of work, this biggest loser thing is coming to an end....i think in a few weeks. i've lost 12 pounds so far during the competition, but i lost a bunch before that on my own, so i have to keep remembering that to keep myself motivated. at work i'm 132.9 (um, obviously with clothes on), and ideally i'd like to be around 120-125. so i got a little bit to go. oh, and my clothes fit so much better. i love that. and yeah, i know no one cares to know every little detail but this is stream of consciousness, right? well, there ya go. i'm dull. showertime!

so, it's spring break at medaille. a beautiful thing. i would generally be pulling in the parking lot for phys psych, right around now, but instead i am home, sitting in my unusually cold apartment, on my futon with my kitty above my right shoulder. it's a cozy life i lead. ryan should be here any moment (he's playing basketball with a bunch of guys from work), then i'll feel better. i like that there a few people in the world who make you feel better by simply being in the room with them. and you don't know what it is about them...

anyway, for unknown reasons i'm having an off day. i think i need to force myself to go to bed earlier tonight. i really am not ever in a bad mood at work cuz there's too much going on, and i can almost always laugh it off.....and i'm talkin even when i'm covered in urine or some other excrement that came out of a four year old, but today, i just couldn't do it. i was tired from the moment i woke up until now. who knows if i nap will actually happen? i'm not counting on it because i'm forcing myself to do some sort of workout tonight.

this biggest loser thing at work is gonna be the death of me.....i feel so much more pressure now that there are other people in this weightloss thing with me. sounds stupid but when i was just in it for myself i was losing weight consistently and never really ever craving anything for more than like a second, but now that it's everyone in my room on my team and we're competing, it's like all i can see are the things i should not be eating, and dreaming about the food i haven't had in months. it's not like i never cheat or something, but that's what i'm feeling like. anyway, last week according to the nurses scale (which i say is way off) i lost 7.9 pounds. so we'll see about this one. probably won't even lose a pound. such is life.

oh man....i man just came to install a thermostat.....caught me off guard. mostly it was that pain in the ass from downstairs banging on the glass on the window. i hate her.

why is it that i feel like i have so much to rant about and then i acutally open up this page to start typing and nothing is there?? i hate that. it happens every time and i just wind up typing something about my day or my life or something and blahhhhhhhh.

anyway....had a nice quick day out with ashley. to buff state to pick up some books for her, and i did some research for a paper, as well as mostly just chatted. then to pano's where i had an EXCELLENT salad with chicken, hardboiled eggs, and purple dandelion leaves in it. beautiful.

some days i'm just out of it. most days i'm good, but once in a blue moon, i feel like i am sad. today is that day. i probably just need some sun, or some exercise. yeah, that'll probably do it, but whatever...i'd rather just watch tv, and not do my paper or study for my oh so sweet physiology test that's tomorrow night. yeah, sounds good.

i splurged and bought myself really expensive perfume yesterday, but ya know what? i have wanted it for a long time, i smell really awesome right now, and i think i deserved to buy it. i've been making a concerted effort at a lot of positive things lately and have been actually achieving my goals even if not everyone notices them. so there. did ya like how i just talked myself into that. whatever...it was ALSO 15% off! so HA!

my vacation is cool thus far....haven't done much of anything, now that i think about it, but went out friday-sunday nights. and had lots of fun! jaimi's becoming a really good friend, and she loves a lot of the same things i do...so it's cool. and ya know, i love ashley. honestly, sometimes we get on eachothers nerves, like all friends do with eachother, but she's been a friend...and GOOD friend to me for like ten years....and no matter where we are or what's going on in our lives we can always just come back to eachother and just be. i really have absolutely no idea what i'm going to do when she goes to NYU. ehh, she talks about it a lot and it makes me sad to know that that's more than likely gonna happen down the road, but i suppose it's not gonna be for at least another year...so that's good. it's just rough to think about. BUT yay for planning another vacation in the mean time!

p.s. everyone...block off a section at the end of june 2008. there will be a party like no other.

i'm on vacation. paid vacation that is. and i had a "wind" day yesterday....like a snow day but just cuz it was supposed to get windy. it did, but not enough that they should have closed every school in the area, like they did. strange. but i reaped all the benefits from it. so im happy! so i have the next nine days off. i will be sitting here, watching mtv in my pajamas, and making money all the while. my life is good.

AND...i've saved a bunch of money and got some for my taxes, so i think i'm all set on money for the vacation with sarah! it's far away, but hey....something to look forward to! whoop!

i have school 2 of 3 days this week, but it shouldn't be that bad, since it's like a couple hours on two days. and class is cancelled on monday...cuz riniolo is flippin sweet.

did ya ever have someone say something to you, and preach up and down that they live their life a particular way, only to find out over and over again that they do not in fact do what they say they do? sometimes that happens to me....and i guess i'm probably like that sometimes to...but i try not to be. i just wish someone would stick to the guns for ones and not compromise who they say they are. i know...cryptic, and the person i'm referring to will probably never even read this....but still...blah. makes me nuts.

i've lost 11 pounds, in about 6 weeksish. to me, this seems like a lot...and it definitely helps that i can actually see it and feel it in the way my clothes fit, but it kinda sucks when i think about how much more i'd have to lose to be at the weight i was when i started college. which would honestly be like 15-18 more pounds. blah. i shouldn't look at the big picture of things. i should take it a little at a time. i am down a size, and feeling so much better physically and mentally from exercise that i sometimes wonder why i ever stop working out or eating right....cuz when i do stop i feel horrible. anywayyyyy, i am feeling amazing thus far! and that's all i can hope for.

hasta la vista.

boy am i cold...

i'm watching fat camp on mtv. only mtv can make fat camp not anything about getting healthy, but simply about hooking up and junk. blah.

valentine's day was sweet. i worked, went to class, and came home to a candlelight dinner with cheesy chicken and rigatoni. perfect. then we watched must love dogs. good v-day movie. then, off to bed. perfect end to a perfect day.

whoo hoo, this kitty is a psychopath. i just keep hearing things crashing to the floor in the bedroom. when i go in there...he's sitting on ryan's pillow, like a statue. he plays with pens and likes to chew on money (coins, bills, any denomination...you name it).

school is rough. not like hard....just likeeeee i'm lazy and don't wanna do any of the things i know i have to do. just have to tell myself that next year at this time i'll be working on my masters thesis, and that only a few weeks from getting my degree. whoop!

eating healthy seriously works. and so does billy's bootcamp! i've lost ten pounds in about 5 weeks. hoot and holler for me. a pair of jeans fit me today (rather loosely i might add) that hadn't fit ever (even when i bought them). yay! ok, enough.

busy weekend coming up. i'll try to keep up with this. adios muchachos.

well, as gwyn said, "you don't write anymore. :(" i figured it was about time i got back into the swing of it. i don't really know why i haven't writtin in so such a long time. i guess these things are harder to keep up on than i thought it'd be.

a real update. hmm...school started two weeks ago. my schedule looks a little something like this: cognitive psych, physiological psych, and research methods. two of them are taught by one of the guys from last semester. he's kinda off, but an amazing teacher and really interesting. i find myself learning every time i go to school. sometimes, even though Wells was more "work" i found myself not really learning anything substantial simply by going to classes. i think that's why i probably didn't go a lot of the time. hehe. anywho, he's amazing, and cognitive should be easy and cool stuff....while research methods is a lot of paper writing, which i'm not too keen on, but sorta ok at. so i'll be alright. phys. psych, on the other hand, is weird. "that glenn guy" teaches it and he's a bio/chem phd. we're learning the very BASICSof chemistry right now, and i think next week is the basics of bio. it's really a good place to start before we get into neuroanatomy. i'm not looking forward to it, but if i start to go crazy and can't do it, i know i can go to this guy, or judy, the head of my program, and interim dean of grad studies, cuz that's one thing medaille is super good for....helping you out. so, we'll see. lots of work but i'll be done with everything except my thesis, one year from now. that feels good. i am already looking forward to summer classes! that's weird.

work is pretty hectic, but just cuz the kids are crazy. i have to get on top of revising a few of the programs in my casebook, but other than that, it's pretty good. one of my "bosses" (a behavior consultant, and a few years older than me - in general, a girl i really admire and like, all around) stopped me in the hall the other day and said she had something for me, hands me an envelope, and i thank her and walk away. well, it was a thank you card, thanking me for all my hard work, and some gift certificates to tim horton's. it was unexpected, and really great to get, small as it was. later on when she stopped my the room, i quietly thanked her, saying that of course she didn't have to do that, but howmuch i appreciated the thought, and she said "well, i know how hard it is working in a room like this, and you set such a good example and do such a good job all the time, and i wanted you to know that i consistently notice." it amazing what a small compliment can do. especially when i knew i was the only one who got one. and the other people i work with are a special ed teacher, a speech pathologist, and three other aides (who i love dearly) :)

it's rainy and nasty out but no snow yet, like i heard there was supposed to be. i should probably do some homework today cuz i'm an idiot and always put it off till sunday (but this sunday we're probably going to ryan's family's or something. that'll be fun but i suck with the homework.

beetlejuice is my child. he just lay by my side from the moment i walk in the door, until i go to bed. it's so nice. EXACTLY the kind of kitty i wanted. puuuurfect. ha.

last night we went to arryn's in auburn for a night of reunion. i love those people all so much. good food and good people. shelly and mike came, which was great cuz i haven't seen them since their wedding, and they were just the same as always, two of the happiest, nicest people you could ever meet. arryn's always the organizer, and i love that. she's just so fun, and smiley, and i miss seeing that every day. sarah and james were there too. i love her so much. that's just....it. i think there'll be wells/haunt adventures this year...and i'm looking forward to them. and gwynnnnn.....she just knows things. she's like sarah, in that way. like one of those people you can just look at and know that they're thinking the same thing as you. few people are like that. i try to hang on to them when i can.

probably going to see a movie with ryan tonight, or possibly out with ash and josh. and i need to shower desperately. we'll seeeee. adios.

i seriously have no idea the last time i updated....i mean i could look it up but i'm not that interested really so i'll start with stuff i don't think i mentioned before. blah.

i've been sick for like almost two weeks. coughing up nothing and sometimes flourescent things, and sneezing up the same. i feel good during the day, but i have been having trouble sleeping and mornings and evenings are bad. it'll pass. i got it from work....we just keep passing it back and forth to eachother. even though i had been taking vitamins all along, they didn't really help at all, actually....kinda ruining my faith in those pesky vitamins.

sarah came to visit last weekend, and i think i miss her when she's not here, but then she gets here, and i really see how much i did. she's someone who just knows how to be. like she's always fun to have around and just everything we say, the other one just knows. i wish are lives were bringing us closer geographically, but it doesn't look like that will happen anytime soon....but who knows....better late than never. either way, she's someone i'll never be out of touch with, cuz there'd be something missing. i missed her before she was out the driveway.

um, my "weightloss journey" HA....is going well i guess. down 6 pounds. and plenty more to go. it helps that the girls at work are all trying to slim down, too. makes it easier for me to lay off the skittles and other junk we like to call "edible reinforcers" in the world of autism. so i'll keep plugging away at that...i should have gone to the gym more this week, but the sickness didn't help.

work is going good, but one of the kids is sick...like hospital sick, and it's been kind of a downer this week cuz we're all thinking about it. he'll be back sometime this week, we think (hope). oooh, and i got a 6% raise yesterday...um, which doesn't amount to much, but in the grand scheme of thing, anything helps.

i start back to school on monday with three new classes that i'm kiiiiiinda nervous about. cognitive psych, research methods, and the biological basis of behavior. whoop. we'll see how this goes, but ehh, i might as well just go head on into it, cuz as it stands i have a 3.9 and should be done with everything except my thesis by december....whoa. putting that in writing makes it seem so much more real. ahh, the beauty of grad school.

ryan's good. i love him as much, if not more than ever. we're working on some things, as we have always been and will always be, but i think that honestly, people that don't have to work on anything with eachother, really don't care all that much. i miss the days of laying in bed all day and night, doing nothing cuz it was summer and we were bums, but i love the days, right now of getting up in the morning and going to work together, and eating lunch together every day, and look forward to the days of having babies and taking them to sports practices, play rehearsals and birthday parties together. i like having that, and it's more than a lot of people can say that they have. i'm lucky. in a lot of ways. i should start acting like it.

i'm back to having almostblack hair. i feel better this way. but the problem with it is the skin tone. see....i need at least a slight tan, or i will continue to look a little edward scissorhandsish.

ryan's brothers are here (we're taking them home soon) but we just kinda hung out last night and today and played uno attack and pet the kitty. they love him. cuz he's a baby.

i absolUTEly need to do laundry today, and have to get ready for the visit from my lovely sarah. i can't even wait. don't get me wrong, i love living here and with ryan, but it's sad to not like have her in the closet or something, in case i need her. you know....blah. but yay for visits on a long weekend!!

alright...more later, when i'm motivated...um, and not distracted by Ready to Rumble...

oh, it's friday and i'm happy about that. i'm about to head to the gym in a minute with the shortstack (he likes it) buttttt i have a few minutes cuz as long as i don't say anything he could keep playing this godforsaken game for a million hours. p.s. path of neo. i wanna punch keanu reeves (yes. i realize it's an animated game, but i just always have pretty much hated the real guy.)

in other news, we got a kitty. he's an angel from heaven and all he does is lay on the futon with me and cuddle. he's a domestic short hair/persian mix so he's like made of satin. i love him. his name is Beetlejuice.

um, i'm attempting to be skinny. ha...not so far, but ya know....it takes time. going to the gym as often as i can, and doing taebo a few nights has helped. also, laying off the mcdonald's probably hasn't hurt. i only need to lose like 20 pounds. a MERE 20 pounds. geezus.

i got some sweet loot. that pretty much summarizes stuff. nahh, spent three straight days visiting family (mine and ryan's). friday night we went to his mom's cousin's house. we went two years ago. mostly the same except everyone was slightly older, and somehow had all forgotten me since then (but i suppose i can't complain as i couldn't remember anyone else either - they're distant relatives that i've only met that one other time, ya see?). the next night we went to my aunt and uncle's as usual, where we cram like 50 people in a space that should have a maximum capacity of about 7. a hoot, i tell you. but i got gift cards to my tomato pie (we eat there everyday, basically....cuz we're skinny), the mall, and one to get me some Uggs. whoop! hmm, got some candles and stuff too, which come to think of it, ryan must have thrown out. he has this insanity thing with not leaving anything under the tree. it's making me crazy.

then christmas morning, ryan and i had our first real christmas together. i mean...we've been together for 45 years so we've celebrated them obviously, but this was different. we woke up together, and opened our gifts together. our gifts for eachother. it was cute. he's good. i got a down comforter, some earrings, a dvd, A Fractured Mind (book)...which is suuuper good, and i hate reading. my engagement ring, also went up a size or two. hooray! i love him.

oooook, next we went to my gramma and grampa's, had some sticky buns and milk, and opened presents. and ya know what else? i'm officially a person. i own my own VACUUM. yeah, beat that. haha. got some clothes, and a kinkos gift card, which will totally be gone as soon as school starts back up. got some gas cards, and a tops gift card, too. i think we will survive this month. on gift cards, alone. next we went to my uncle's for like a minute, so say hello, but we couldn't stay cuz we still had to hit up ashley's and ryan's family. so at ash's we got to see everybody, which was really nice....i don't see them enough....at all. it's kinda sad, but it'll change more this semester i think, as things settle down. i think they all liked what i got them. at least i hope so. and i LOVED what they got me. more gift certificates for my Uggs. and ash got me some really pretty earrings. one of which i may have already lost...it kept shooting out of my ear today. wahhhhh :( wait, martini got me those. ha. and ashley got me a beautiful candle and plate/candle holder (you know the thing i'm talkin about) from pier 1. i love it, and it smells great....cranberry citrus....and you can actually tell that without looking at the label. :) ryan got a bunch of stuff from blockbuster, like gift card, and a giant tub of unpopped popcorn, and every kind of candy you could imagine. i've been sneaking Sno Caps when he's not looking. shh. finally we had to skip out, after eating everything we could find in ashley's house we went to ryan's family gathering. did i mention that we drove around the world about four times on this particular day? cuz we did. well, i did. ryan's car isn't really a car. that a whole other ball of worms. yeah.

so, we hung out with his family and chatted and ate prime rib and homemade bread and cookies and everything. we got a toaster oven. sidenote (cuz i'm Mr.Foss):i friggin made garlic bread in it yesterday and it was like i'd gone to heaven. i love this thing. ok, back to it. then we went to his parents to exchange with them and his brothers and sister, etc. we gave them sweet stuff that i would wanna get, so i think they were happy. it was good to see that. ryan made out like a bandit and got like every PS2 game you can think of and a bunch of movies and a giant gaming chair that takes up our whole living room, and together we got a foreman, and some tv trays (as this home does not permit us having a kitchen table) from stacey, mitch, and the baby. p.s. the baby is giant and a genius. i am so proud. i was there the day that boy was born. he's awesome. what did i get? DIAMOND EARRINGS BABY. they match my ring. they're beautiful. and i got (this stuff is from ryan's parents) a fuzzy hat and scarf in white with little sequins. so cute. and little black book, and the princess bride. and a gift card to american eagle. i'm so friggin lucky. i can't believe it. some people get nothing. and i got all that. this is when i start to get sentimental. blah. blow that. i'll move on. anyway, i'm grateful for all that i have. and when i complain about something, punch me and remind me.

yesterday, as generally boxing day goes....i did nothing that i can recall. um, i drove ryan to work and picked him up when he was done, but in between, i'm pretty sure i just went shopping at a thousand places and didn't buy anything. whatev.

today was slightly more productive, as i woke up early, got ready and headed out to alden to do some junk at the bank (dragging ryan along, of course). on the way we stopped at a gym down the street. i'd stopped and had a tour last night, and met the manager and stuff. with my insurance (and ryan's when his benefits kick in feb first) i get a bunch of money toward a gym membership. i picked this one. it's open 24 hours, and is BEAUTIFUL. and the manager, Gwen (no, not Gwyn...although ryan keeps calling her that if it make you feel better) is wonderful. we walk in and i'm signing up for my membership, and explain that he doesn't get his little debit card thing for a month, and she's all like "oh, well ryan, you can have a free month membership. i can do that." we tried to decline saying that that was tooooo much, of course, but she was persistent, and gave him january for free. i can't even believe it. so, anyway...i have no friends = i ramble. so when i pick him up tonight, we're headed for our first session at the gym. i'm excited. i need the exercise. and everything that goes along with exercise.

alright, went out to eat with my dad and ryan, came home, went to target, exchanged some stuff ryan got me for xmas that was too small (go figure), went to the mall, tjmaxx, back to the mall, and finally here. now i have to pay my bills. what a way to put a damper in things.

mike teevee is a weiner.

so, i'm waiting for ryan to let me take him to work. but since we can't leave at 9:28, and we have to leave at 9:35, here i am.

tonight is christmas eve. one of my favoite days (or nights) of the year, for as long as i can remember. we'll head to my aunt and uncle's tonight to exchange gifts and eat some polish sausage. it'll be good. and there's always that same feeling in the air. sometimes i wish i could bottle that feeling. it might almost be a smell....but not quite. you know what i'm saying. anyway, it might be different this year, and that's something i'm absolutely NOT looking forward to. since my gramma passed away in september, family gatherings are a little uneasy. and so is my dad. which tends to hit me hard. wah. we'll see how this goes. i'm sure it'll be fine.

i got everyone gooooood stuff this year. generally, i think that i got people ok things but this year, i'm more sure of it. and all at the expense of being able to pay my own bills. damn being generous. i just hope ryan's happy with the stuff i got him, cuz he's really pulled stuff together for himself lately, made me proud and i guess i wanna show him that, even though i tell him all the time. i guess that's just how i was taught to show someone i'm proud of them. hmm, i never thought about that. good report card = 50 bucks. be in a play = gift certificate for somewhere. yes. i definitely was taught that. hmm. oh well. :)

on another note, it's 9:37 and ryan hasn't moved, so now...i punch. (that's for you, nancy)

it's the wednesday before christmas, and i'm still not even close to done wrapping gifts. i went too crazy this year, but i tend to do that. i will finish tonight and make ryqan do at least some of his own. bum. :)

since when is howie mandel bald? did i miss something? we got no new toilet today. go figure, the plumber had to reschedule. i got some jingle bells from one of my students, you know...the kind you hang on your door, so they jingle when someone comes in. how cute? and some candy from the kid's OT, Liz. what a nice surprise. AND a package from cooter! hooray!! another nice surprise. i'm ready for christmas. next year, i'm going easy. maybe next year i'll randomly have a lot of extra money to spend frivolously on things for other people. hey, maybe i'll have a different job by then. it's sad, cuz as much as i do love my job, it's stressful, and i don't get paid nearly anything. although i have paid vacations and holidays and junk nealry every month. and benefits. and friends there. but, i don't know. more money would be nice. i suppose my dad is right in saying that the best time to look for a job is when you already have one. i sent resumes to three places yesterday. we'll see if anything comes of it.

i pulled of two A's and A- in my classes. lets see if we can make it happen again next semester...probably not with all that research methods and junk. ehh, i'll keep ya posted. p.s. if anyone is secretly good at math (specifically stats) let me know as i will be needing you desperately soon. ok, my phone is ringing. smell ya later.

hmm...

ok, so this is new. pretty much cuz i'm sick of just reading other peoples journals, and i have a lot of time on my hands. let me seeeee. let's give you all an update, since most of you i haven't had a chance to sit down and chat with in a really long time, since everyone went there seperate ways. :( boo hoo.

ok, i work full time at a school in a class with a bunch of 3-5 year olds. annnnd, they all have either autism, some kind of mental retardation, or severe speech problems. it's pretty rad, and i love them all a real lot. they're babies. the people i work with are awesome, too. and it's a good thing, cuz work takes up a lot of my time.

what else, you ask? well, i go to medaille now, since wells. oh, how i miss wells. my program's pretty sweet and i did semi-goodish this semester, thankfully. wells, seriously is grad school, so don't worry, dudes. you'll think you're a genius once you're on to the real thing. anyway, i love it, and it's all women and one guy, so it's virtually Wells-like anyway.

me and ryan live in the upstairs of a nice, cute, little house in the middle of everything, and like 10 minutes from work (he works at the same place i do, duh, forgot about that one. - oh, yeah, target, too. he never sleeps basically) ANYWAY, we love our little apartment and it's made for us. we're getting a new toilet tomorrow. yeah, that's neat. we have a mini-christmas tree, too, with teeny tiny blue lights, and lots of gold christmas presents around it. it makes me happy as i sit here watching MTV. speaking of christmas presents, i sit here on my new futon, from my mom, and type on my new lap top, from mi padre. yeah, i have all my presents already....had em for a month. i am one lucky girl, i'll tell ya. i'm at a really good place right now. 6 weeks off from school, and a week off PAID from work for christmas. hooooray! can you tell i'm delerious though? hence, the rambling. if i ever figure out how to add friends, that'll be neat....if not, i'm writing this for myself. ok, i think that's a significant update. if you wanna be my friend, you can. please do. hasta la vista.